Seeker's Ramblings

Don't answer.

2010-07-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

Have you been swept off your feet by a stranger? Have you felt a tickle in-between your ribs when someone looked at you? Have you disliked social conventions pertaining to human interactions? Have you felt great respect for someone whom you barely knew?

Have you felt your temples throb and send a chill down your body whenever you thought about someone? Have your thoughts drifted away when music played? Have you wished that your life were like a musical where you could cast the lead ? Have you considered learning how to play a musical instrument so that you could play for someone special ? Have random Blues artists on ReverbNation made sense all of a sudden? Have you felt that you need a creative outlet for the beautiful thoughts in your head ? Have you ever been jealous of poets who can put into words whatever they felt?

Have you read something and, in the end, understood what suspension of disbelief meant?

Incomplete

2010-06-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

This post is incomplete. It is politically incorrect, highly opinionated and i assume a high ground throughout. However, this page has always expressed opinions which are objective unlike what you are about to read. I am, therefore, leaving this post incomplete. The conclusion is what you take out of it. If you suspect that it is actually complete, no it isn't.

The following is a graphical representation of the results of a poll conducted by India Today among Chennaiites.

Of course, I made that up.But i'm trying to establish something graphically.

I have always hated window shopping. I think it is plain stupid to go to a mall, stare into glass enclosures and imagine owning things which you won't buy in your lifetime. You don't even have to take a look at something to buy it these days, if that is the reason why people stare.You can google information about absolutely anything. (I found info about a used toothbrush on eBay) I do understand that the place is air-conditioned, which is great in a city like Chennai but sitting on the stairs for hours and clicking pictures on a VGA camera phone in the dark is taking it too far. I have and always will, scorn them.

This outburst, though, stems from a recent visit to a mall. I was there for business. By business, i mean serious business. My appointment was at 3:30 pm but i reached there by 1:30 pm. I had my lunch and found that i still had more than an hour to spare. I know for a fact that a lot of people hang out in malls and so figured that it won't be difficult to kill time. I roamed around but couldn't find anything remotely interesting or worth purchasing. I kept glancing at my watch as i walked aimlessly from one shop to the other. After about 10 minutes i gave up my attempt at being a mallrat.

I went inside a coffee shop and took a comfortable seat opposite to a television. By then it was 2:45 pm and i decided that i'll have a nice hot steaming cup of coffee before the appointment. The shop was, surprisingly, not empty. I was sitting there waiting for someone to come up to me and ask for an order. But nobody did. I looked around and saw a middle-aged man reading Sidney Sheldon. It was 2:45 pm on a Tuesday. Clearly, he either made a lot of money or nothing at all. Sitting directly across was a shabby obese guy. He mistook the couch and pillows for a bed. For a moment i thought he was fast asleep. But then, i noticed that his eyes were wide open and he was gazing unblinkingly towards a group of people across the room. There were about five girls, all of them in their early twenties, sitting on the couch with nothing on their table. They were all dressed up for a party and were very loud. I can't stress loud enough because i was sitting on the opposite side of the room and i heard that a certain Khushi's boyfriend Abhishek broke up with her! I looked around but couldn't find a single waiter. Meanwhile, the man in front of me was getting too 'comfortable' in his 'bed'. It was 3:00 in the afternoon. There was a man in a coffee shop getting 'comfortable' !! (Thankfully, he didn't get too comfortable). I began to wonder what these people did for a living.Rather, i hoped these people had something to do which paid them.

I looked around anxiously and finally found a waiter. He walked up to me with a menu card and almost flung it on my table. I picked it up and looked through the menu. I noticed that he was rather nonchalant and a tad arrogant.

I ordered a cappuccino and a pastry. The look on his face changed. He hurried across the room and brought me my order with great haste. As i was sipping my coffee, i kept thinking about the look the waiter gave me. I felt rather insulted at that moment. I felt that i should have walked out the very moment I was treated with such disrespect. It is inexcusable to treat a customer that way. But when i took a close look at all the people in the room i realized what was going through his head. For most part of the day, he offers menu cards to mallrats who hang out in the coffee shop. I noticed the forementioned Khushi's gal pals saying 'No' to the menu card twice before i finished my cup. The waiter didn't even bother looking at Jabba. I figured out what the waiter was thinking. He mistook me for a mallrat! I ended up feeling even more disgusted! I walked up to the counter, paid the exact bill amount and left the place vowing never to visit a coffee shop ever again.

About Blank

2010-05-27T08:00:00.001-07:00

I've looked everywhere for it. I read books which a few people suggested, even the Bhagvad Gita, but couldn't find it. I wandered for hours on the streets of Chennai, watching people go about their lives, and checked if i could find it in their lives. No.

I stared at the girl crossing the road to the other side, hoping to find it in her eyes when she turns around. I waited for her to, but she didn't look back. She was on the phone.(With her boyfriend, probably)I stood for hours on the seashore to see if it was in the sea. No. Not there. I left my home and went far away to a distant land hoping that i would find it there. The end result was knowledge that things which can't be found at home are seldom found away from it. I came back and watched my parents go through their grueling routines at 50. I spent hours trying to put myself in their shoes and figure out how they manage to do the things they do. I was left with a headache and a very poor image of myself as a son.

I looked at the less fortunate on the train. I searched their corroded plates and my HDFC salary account. It was pretty much the same but not the thing i was looking for. I listened(mostly) to Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan, U2 and Coldplay. I read their lyrics on the internet for hours,but couldn't find it in their lines. So i stopped for a moment to write this to make sure I know what I am searching for. As it turns out, I don't. Do you know what you are searching for?

18 when he died

2010-04-30T09:31:00.000-07:00

It all started when i bumped into a childhood friend of mine after 7 years. I said 'Hi! Whats up?'. She said ' Dude, know what? I'm getting married!'.

Yes. Marriage. Something which is associated with grown-ups. Something which people do when they're done experimenting with their lives and want to settle down. An agreement which requires the masculine party to have a 7 digit salary, two professional degrees and a house to be able to get a good deal. Something which a guy seriously starts to think about when he sees his hair-line receding. A sweet deal which can ease the EMI payments on the housing loan procured earlier using two and not one salary (this one came from a married man in his 30s.) And now, people who are my age are doing it!

I tried convincing myself that the system works differently for men and women. Women in our society are married off early when compared to men. So i figured i have a good 8 years before i get tired of living and take the leap. I convinced myself that i was still young. But fate conspired. My parents found a girl for my brother.It feels like only yesterday that my brother kicked me on my balls and locked me up in the terrace under the scorching sun over an under-arm cricket match . Now, he's getting married. Even though it's great news that my maa's wish of having a daughter is finally going to get fulfilled, it turns out i am actually growing old.

I looked at my class XII group photograph and i saw an innocent kid in myself, so caught up in his dreams that he hardly paid attention to the people around him.(I found someone in the picture whose name i couldn't recollect for a bit!) I saw a kid who was filled with optimism that one day after he is long gone, children will study about him in their text books. I saw a testosterone-driven teenager who wanted to make-out with Sharon Stone. I saw a cricket fanatic who idolized Harsha Bhogle and wanted to become a Cricket Commentator. I saw a child who'd tell his mother everything he did. I saw a dreamer who wanted to eradicate poverty, adopt children and stop old people from begging on streets. A kid who dreamed to change the world. And then he grew.

He realized that the world can sometimes be a rough place. Sharon stone is 50 and she looks different from Basic Instinct. The text books kids read today have stuff about Sania Mirza. He no longer wants to be on text books. He doesn't know if he can tell his maa everything. He no longer feels the lump in his throat when he sees old people on the street. He has understood the dynamics of the society and has no hope for a positive change.He also notices other people in the XII std. group photo and quietly smiles to himself.

Where did the innocent dreamer run off to and where did the Seeker step in? Why can't i watch Test matches and read Cricket columns with the same vigor as he used to? Why can't i still think about changing the world for the better? Why can't i lie down in my bed and watch sitcoms the whole day? Why can't my brother come back from college and yell at me for lying down on his side of the bed all over again? Where did all the innocence go? Why can't i be like him?

Swami Gilamananda.. really?

2010-03-03T09:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, television broadcast hit a new low in Tamil Nadu when private video footage of a certain God man and an actress of yesteryear was aired in a private News channel. People have been YouTubing the man like never before.( I wouldn't be surprised if was Googled more times than Megan Fox in the last 30 hrs!)

Angry protesters are setting fire to banners while fuel prices are going up. They're shutting down his 'ashrams' and 'retreats' because they don't have day jobs. Petitioners have filed a case against him under Sec 294(b) IPC(which relates to obscenity!) because there aren't enough cases pending in courts already.

Who aired the video ? What obscene act did the 'Swami' indulge in publicly? He scored an actress because he has the money and power to do so. Or perhaps he is even in a serious relationship with the woman. He should be the one filing a case here.He is being made scapegoat because we are too proud to admit we were stupid. It is a breach of his personal space and privacy. If it was a journalist who came up with the idea of wiring his bedroom,he must be sued!

Do any of us practice what we preach? More specifically,in this context, is it possible for any of us to practice abstinence(unless enforced)? Won't you bite the cake and eat it too when you get the chance?

All of us are hypocrites in one way or the other. We want our country to grow, but we don't pay our taxes because we want more! We crib about the system being corrupt and bribe the traffic police constable. We have change to fill hundials inside temples but have none for the old beggar outside. We associate ourselves with religions and philosophies which we don't follow, yet we fight for them. From fake smiles to our everyday prayers I can fill this entire page with our pretentiousness.

And when someone amongst us humans claims to be all that we cannot be as a species, we believe him. We shower him with largesses and worship him . Why? It is because we believe he can give us something that we don't have. We submit to his will and remain servile. Till one day when his humanness is exposed. Holy crap on my prashadam! The guy is HUMAN!

A friend told me that our religion stipulates Godmen to practice celibacy and be 'pure'. Well, our religion stipulates a million other things which we conveniently reject. The guy became a Godman because we believed what he said. Had we not believed in the first place, he would've probably become a successful Insurance salesman or a medical salesman. Instead, look what we did. He is going to jail and can't sleep with the actress for a while before he buys out his imprisonment.

Time waste money waste :(

Wanderer

2010-02-04T06:46:00.001-08:00

On a lousy Sunday evening, a few months back, I was sitting on my couch watching the 8th Season of Friends for the 800th time. Mathew wasn’t funny. Jenifer wasn’t hot. I looked at the clock and it seemed like someone was dragging the minute hand back when it tried moving in front. The walls of my house were closing in on me. There was absolutely nothing going on in my life which remotely excited me. The walls of my house seemed to get smaller by the minute. I had been reeled in by a meaningless routine which systematically destroyed my peace. I wanted to get out.But I didn't know where to.

I wore my sneakers, took my i-Pod and headed out of my house. I hadn't been to Elliot's Beach in a really long time. And before i knew it I was standing by the shore. With my earphones on I couldn't hear a thing around me. I looked around and saw that I was in the company of total strangers in the twilight.

You're in control, is there anywhere you wanna go?
You're in control, is there anything you wanna know?
The future's for discovering
The space in which we're travelling
From the top of the first page
To the end of the last day
From the start in your own way
You just want somebody listening to what you say
It doesn't matter who you are
It doesn't matter who you are

With the music blaring and the waves rising up till my thighs I felt alive. There was peace and calm. I felt the cold sea water on my feet as the waves receded. I wanted to dissolve in the water and flee. The water made love to my feet and I relished every single movement. I closed my eyes and the first thing that flashed in my mind was the Besant Avenue road. And without even putting a thought to it I was on the road once again.

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't deny it
Can't sell it or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Bono's song supporting Aung Suu Kyi's struggle in Burma suddenly seemed like a carpe diem written out to me. I kept walking. The long road leading into the darkness of the night opened my eyes to the fact that in all these years of living in Bessi I haven’t once stopped to see the beautiful trees on the side of that road. The cool breeze sent a chill down my spine. (I also noticed a small idol on the side of the road and wondered who on earth placed it there!)I still wasn't sure where I was going or what I was going to do next. But my feet kept moving and the music kept playing.

The day can never happen waiting for the hurricane
If we look to far ahead today is gone
You will always miss the moment waiting for the hurricane
Cause the fear of future hides the sun

If you can`t seem to find new oceans and a little bit more
Slowly we will fall if we lose sight of the shore
In the race to be the better or best
Don`t miss it, the joy of being, or you will never rest

So unchain your mind
Unchain your mind

Before the voice faded out I was near Malar Hospital en route to Vidya Mandir. Why? No reason.

Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

After about 2 hours I came back home all drenched and high on life. I was in a state of meditation. I had discovered something I love doing. Wandering.

' Dude what's the fun in walking to some place pointlessly?' That's the point! The pointlessness!'

I get a kick out of wandering to some place. I rediscover the beauty of places I have seen already. While wandering I can listen to music on a completely different level where my mind, body and senses are in tune. It makes me see beauty in things which people see every day but can’t appreciate. I live the moment and feel so much more alive.

Let the music never stop.. Let the road never end..

Source -

Song Lyrics in the order of their appearance in the post

1.Square One- Speed of Sound

2.Walk on - U2

3.Waiting for the Hurricane-Enigma

4.Dream On- Aerosmith

Hero

2009-12-15T02:58:00.001-08:00

The bus rocked to a halt on the dusty road. A handsome man in his early thirties appeared from within wearing a proud smile on his face and a uniform on his chest. As the dust settled down and the smell of wet mud greeted him the story of his life played in his head. Born into a peasant family as the first of five children, he lived a life filled with pain and strife. His family lived in abject poverty. He had even seen abba attempting suicide at one point when the family was under a pile of debt.

Being the eldest son, it was incumbent upon him to rescue the family in its hour of crisis. His idea of a steady income was a government job in the army. For a poorly educated 6 footer with broad shoulders and the heart of a lion, joining the army as a sipaahi didn’t take much. A couple of physical exams and he was in.

With the little money they received every month and privileges the family subsisted. Initially, he visited them once in a year. It warmed his heart to see his family in a better place than before, because of him. He was a proud son, both of his house and the country. But one question he couldn’t answer for himself was whether, being a sipaahi in the army was a service to Hindustan or a profession. If it were a profession why wasn’t he looking out for something which paid better? If it were a service to the country why was his family’s welfare involved?

Years drifted by and he found himself married with children. The days were long and he literally counted down days left to meet his children. The idea of ‘service’ seemed more like a delusion which the exuberance of youth had cast over his mind. He wanted to get back home to his family. He’d much rather do what his father did for a living than live his life. But the government had other plans for him. He was commissioned to fight the war. There was death all around him. His buddies had been killed. They were his brothers in all the years that had gone by. He felt a rush of blood in his veins. The will to serve his nation drove him day and night. He fought bravely among men who were ready to face death head on. He lived to see the enemy slain. But all did not end well.

Euphoria over the victory soon died down and the shine of the badges on his sleeve began to fade. He decided that life needs a change for the better. Leaving a part of himself behind, he packed his bags and bid adieu to the institution which parented him through his youth.

A shrill noise brought him back to his senses. It was the bus driver honking. He dragged his bags down the steps and pointed to his seat. The bus conductor reached under the seat and took out a pair of crutches. The cripple balanced himself on the staff and set out towards his village. A young boy stuck his head out of the bus speeding past him and waved at him crying ‘Hero!’

This post is inspired by an incident a friend narrated.

Ava Illa Illa Neruppu Thaane Nenjila

2009-12-10T22:47:00.000-08:00

Prologue

Life as a grown-up sucks big time! That too when you are working and living alone there is a certain routine which you get sucked into that is the exact opposite of fun. My life is a boring routine. I have only one thing to tell my maa when she calls me in the evening and asks me about work. 'Work is work'. Both of us are so tired of that answer that she wants me to quit and get the hell out of this shit-hole. ( Pardon the profanity)

Since I cook my dinner and painfully wash vessels afterwards i find it impossible to get out of bed in the morning.The worst part is that if i miss the company bus in the morning i will have to take two autorickshaws to reach my office. It is particularly difficult during winters because the weather will send a chill down your body which is difficult for a pure-bred Madrasi (so to speak) like me to me to handle.

The Story

A couple of days back i woke up as usual. By 'as usual' i mean that i had enough time to brush, get dressed and leave the house so that i can board my bus. (Notice the distinct absence of the word 'bathe') As fate would have it the entire ordeal of having to get out of bed was yet again trivialized by us missing the bus. And by 'us' i mean myself and my roommate.Every time we miss the bus i get pissed off with him. To be honest the poor guy does no harm. But i get so annoyed with him that I'll blame him for all my woes.I wonder why.I also wonder if he'll ever read this. I hope he doesn't.

Just as i was imagining sitting next to a short man covering himself with a dirty blanket and smoking beedi in the auto, magic happened.

At a certain distance along the road a woman dressed in traditional attire appeared out of the fog cover. It was as if the universe was telling me that she was the one. She was the goddess who could dispel the cloud of cynicism and anger over all my thoughts.Darkness was making way for light.

She was so fair that you could miss her feet in the fog and imagine her to be an angel floating. I noticed she was wearing a scarf and all one could see were her eyes.Her hair was tucked into the scarf.All except a few strands which caressed her cheek.Her geometry would make the palms of sculptors itch for their tools.I can't paint. I wished i could at that moment.

As she approached me i got this strange feeling in my abdomen,which i thought had died forever.I felt a strange warmth which soothed my body in the morning cold.She calmly stood next to me and i was about to be pushed over the edge. I was one glance away from getting down on one knee and telling her that the sight of her that morning was by far the brightest moment in the past few months. I wanted to hug her in the most decent manner possible. It was the moment that i fell in love with, not her.

But before i could even close my mouth which was wide open, a man in a leather jacket on a Pulsar stopped next to me. She hopped on, hugged him and they zipped past me.

Ava enna thedi vantha anjala

Ava illa ippo neruppu thaane nenjula..

One man's gain...

2009-11-23T01:50:00.000-08:00

I am a ruthless capitalist. I believe in aggressive business strategies. Capitalism is along the lines of Darwin's 'Survival of the fittest' . If someone has to over-power, exploit or even eliminate in order to profit in a business venture one should do so without any qualms. An environment which harbors incompetence and laziness such as communism will destroy man's urge grow intellectually. The urge to compete which makes us human (and animal at times) is what drives our lives. Life should be a challenge willingly accepted. Clearly i have always been against egalitarianism. And then i took up a job.

Today (even as i am writing this post in my cabin at work) a strike has been declared in my company. There are angry workers downstairs who are protesting for an increase in wages. An average worker earns Rs 4000 per month with a minuscule increase per year. The manufacturing sector is notorious for drastically underpaying workers. It is common place to constitute a majority of the workforce with contracted labors and have only a few permanent employees. The funda being that permanent employees are entitled to pay hikes and other perks whereas contract laborers are eligible only for flat payments. .From the company's perspective that is a lot of money in the bank.

In the last few months of living alone and fending for myself i have realized how difficult it is for a man with an average salary to survive. The cost of living is sky-rocketing and basic requirements for living are difficult to fulfill. It is impossible for a family to survive with only one earning member and a sum of at least Rs 20k is required per month. I have friends who struggle to make ends meet with their salary and it is quite saddening to see them depressed all the time.They fuel a machine which feeds on them and there is no way out.

So here i am, torn between what i have always believed in and what i am seeing first hand. I am neither the inflicter nor the affected. Will things always remain that way? Should one man's gain really be another man's loss?

Bittersweet Home

2009-08-22T04:17:00.000-07:00

It has been a month since I left Chennai (the greatest city on Earth) for a job in Gurgaon (read Gud-gawn) and the city has already put me through a whirlwind of emotions. Being a spoilt Chennai vaasi the distinct flavor of the North was appalling at first. The common man’s bladder sets off at the sight of a wall. The lack of color is made up for by the salivary coat of paan and tobacco. I do not deny the existence of such artists in the South but I haven’t seen as many. If you have travelled in a share auto you’d imagine that, logically, the maximum allowed capacity of the vehicle is 8.But I have had the opportunity, misfortune rather, of travelling with 15 other co-passengers! The guy who smokes his beedi no matter who is around, the woman who has three children and is barely in her twenties and the ‘chick’ who sits on your lap are regulars in the auto. Traffic rules have been done away with and the roads have descended into complete anarchy. Road accidents and the fights ensuing them are a common sight. Pollution levels are so high that a stroll on the street will result in the deposition of a thick black layer of dirt on your clothing. These glaring imperfections irked me for over a week and I was sinking deep into a state of depression.

And one evening when I was hunting for paying guest accommodations (which was, back then, a part of my routine) my entire perspective about moving to this crazy city changed. An old couple, who ran the paying guest accommodation which I wanted to enquire about, coaxed me into having dinner with them without asking if I was going to move in or if I was even interested !All this because, I’m far away from home! I knew for a fact that they were not feigning to lure me into taking up their accommodation, because they are very well to-do. Due to other circumstances we couldn’t move into their place but that meal opened my eyes to the fact that no matter how disparate North India and South India are the undeniable truth is that we are all part of one large country with common traditional values. All the time when I was cribbing about how wonderful Chennai was and how different Gurgaon is from Chennai I had been overlooking the fact that we as people are the same. We have always welcomed our guests with open arms. (We overdo it by extending the hospitality to terrorists and refugees but that is a different story) I realized that people define cities and not its infrastructure. Of course there are a few people here who are unpleasant but practicality suggests that it is better to be grateful for the good and ignore the rest.

So, the city now seems to be a lot cleaner. The share autos are not crowded; the way I see it, they’re running at ‘optimum’ capacity to save fuel for our future generations! And everyday I have pointless conversations with total strangers because I’ve learnt that people here love to talk and are totally uninhibited, which I personally love.

There is always home away from home. We just have to look for it.

And I bid thee adieu my love....

2009-07-03T19:51:00.000-07:00

I love her. She is the most amazing thing on Earth. Her peace,calm and quiet will never cease to amaze me. During times of crisis and waves of distress she rests. I can't hug her. Yet somehow i feel her warmth.She is a work of nature, painted with the colors of time. She has moulded herself over the years to suit changing times. Yet there is something about her that is unvarying. She treats her guests with nothing but kindness and love.They end up becoming her own.

She is a body of knowledge.She taught me all that i know.She has given me all that i have. The bond we share is so deep that separation doesn't hurt. For I, shall carry her with me wherever i go. And I know deep inside that she will be waiting for me.

I can smell her scent right now.I can't tell her i am leaving.She won't understand.She can't understand.A love affair of 21 years which will last a lifetime.My city.My Chennai.My love.I bid thee adieu.

If

2009-06-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

This poem is perhaps the best that i've ever read. The words are so simple,yet they convey a lifetime's worth knowledge.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

Lol

2009-05-27T03:13:00.000-07:00

This is an excerpt from a telephonic conversation between two of my close friends which i later came to know .

Romeo: Machan life eh confusing ah irku..

Thala: Yen macha? (as if he cared)

Romeo: Anjala enna wuttu pogitta macha

Thala: yaaru un girl friend ah?

Romeo: aman macha

Thala: aiyaiyo!

Romeo: Enna machan

Thala: unaku thani kooda adikka theiryaathe enna macha panra?

Romeo: ...

Article 49-0 and Why you shouldn't consider it

2009-04-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

In the past three days i have received close to ten e-mails about the Article 49-0 of the Indian constitution. According to the article a person can go to a polling booth and 'vote for nobody'!
A person can get his finger marked and convey to the presiding election officer that he/she is not voting for any of the candidates. The significance of the number of '49-0' votes is that if a candidate wins in a ward by, say 100 votes , the polling will be considered valid only if this number is greater than the number of '49-0' votes. In the event of the number of '49-0' votes exceeding the winning margin there shall be a re-poll.

This is definitely a better option when compared to not voting at all. Instead of some random party worker impersonating you and casting your vote, it is better that you openly declare your disinterest in all the candidates.However there is a flip side to it.

In a multi-party democracy where a hung parliament is very likely , especially this time around, the idea of a '49-0' vote should not be encouraged. A responsible voter should ,in my opinion, keep in mind that an unstable government is a huge threat to the country.Elections are an expensive affair and a lot of money goes into it. An indecisive electorate will greatly hamper economic progress and result in a slow-down.

Ideally one should vote for the most able candidate.If all the candidates in a constituency are inefficient in the voter's opinion it is better to vote for the party/alliance which can form a stable government at the center rather than refraining from voting or fueling uncertainty.

Un Question de perspective

2009-03-31T06:18:00.000-07:00

Watching the trees pass by,feeling the scorching sun and inhaling the smoke spewed by buses along the OMR a strange feeling engulfed me.My journeys back home from SSN will soon end.Nostalgia is a word that i am not particularly fond of.It takes away the beauty of the present and lets it slip-by. But there is a part of me that reminisces about those days of innocence, when i stepped into college without a clue about what was in store for me or what was beyond it.My first two years in college lacked direction and purpose. The college provided me with endless opportunities to have fun and i took all of them.Those were times when the earth spun faster and i was stuck in a moment. I was in awe with everything that surrounded me. I found my peers fascinating. There was more to learn from them than my professors. I was born again.

But somewhere down the line i realized that there is life beyond college and it was time to wake up from the deep sleep that my college had put me into.A vision of what i ought to be doing few years down the line was at the heart of everything i did. A sense of responsibility slowly crept into my system.I grew.

But due to a very questionable effort towards reaching what i set out for, I crashed and burnt.I died.My vision remains a hazy dream. And just like how an infant cries at separation from the warmth of its mother the thought of leaving college scared me a little bit.The heart cherished the familiarity while the mind questioned it. I was not in the place where i thought i 'd be and i didn't have the slightest clue as to where i would be in a few months from now.A part of me questioned my judgment and perhaps the vision itself.

The secret behind success is to see opportunity in times of adversity. My predicament unnerved me for a while before i realised that it was after all a question of perspective. I can either choose to be the infant or the man who sees possibility and is excited by it. The world is filled with opportunities and in every opportunity there are several possibilities.All of which is waiting to be explored!

From inglorious semester results to unlimited classroom fun and wonderful people,life in college had everything.I have learnt more about myself than engineering itself . The best is yet to come and life in SSN has only made me wiser by experience.

It is definitely the end of a chapter.But it has opened up an entirely new one.

Born again.Waiting to grow up.

Happy New What?!

2008-12-31T22:02:00.000-08:00

January 1, 2009

Last night i was out on the streets trying to discover what New Year celebrations are all about and why people do it.I have never 'celebrated' a New Year before.In my understanding New Year's eve was nothing more than a reason for guys to make use of open bars and 'couples only' parties to have fun.And for those with stiff budgets it simply was a time to get drunk,run around streets and get away with it.But i wasn't convinced.So i decided to just get along with the crowd hoot,yell and feel the 'spirit'.The plan was to experience the fun which i knew existed but have never understood or experienced.Instead i came back home with a deeper understanding about the world and myself.

The beach is one of those places where people throng on New Year's eve to celebrate.I went there by around 8:30 pm and met up with a classmate who had come there with a couple of his friends.And in a matter of 20 minutes i was a part of a gang of about 15 people.I am unable to recollect their names but they were a merry group.I did feel left out because i wasn't acquainted with any of them but they certainly were having the time of their lives.A closer look at the group and i realized that just like ordinary men these guys had dreams,desires and an element of dissatisfaction with life.But they were out to forget about all that they don't have and live the moment.It was the usual chit chat that you would observe in any group.But the idea was eminent.They were out to Live The Night.

I then met up with my best friend and the night began for us.He seemed to have a certain understanding of these celebrations.So we stuck together and kept roaming. We bought a bottle of Coca Cola and carried it with us sipping on it occasionally only to attract attention from passers by.It was only later that we understood that all of them had mistaken the bottle of Coke for alcohol and i guess it is expected out of 21 year olds.It reminded me about the inherent nature of the society to judge and stereotype people.From special children to homosexuals our perceptions are all skewed.We associate behavior with people rather than the other way around.Perhaps this is something people can ponder about on New Year's day!

At about an hour to midnight another group of friends joined us and now we were a gang.And as the night grew old people slowly started to loose their sanity.It was a combination of the New Year spirit from within and the New Year spirit which went in.The tiniest gimmick attracted a lot of attention which in turn spurred them.I guess the attention made them feel like performers and they revelled in their glory.And slowly all the groups wanting a share of the attention started to indulge.The end result was a huge crowd of people partying on the street with absolutely no bother.

I felt like i was watching a foreign language film without subtitles.But i knew that when the clock strikes 12:00 something special was going to happen.And it did happen.A strange emotion took over me.I had created a memory.A memory that all the guys with whom i spent last night will carry with them for a long time.Being a final year student in college i don't have the slightest idea as to where life is taking me.But at that moment, when i wished my friends a Happy New Year I wasn't thinking about why people around me were behaving the way they were i wasn't pondering over where i'd be by the end of 2009 all i knew was that i was standing on top of a parapet 7 feet above the ground hugging my friend wishing him luck with all my heart.This gesture was followed by mock Kung Fu duel and a huddle which strangers whose faces i can barely recollect joined.I too lost my senses because I had found what i was out to find.

Celebrations are about having people about around you to create memories which you can reflect on with a good feeling. Its not about how when where or why you celebrate.Its the happiness that matters.Everyday of the year is worth celebrating with the same zest.Eventhough it is impossible to do so memories are worth creating.It is worth doing something for atleast 2 mins a day which is worth remembering a lifetime.And it doesn't matter if we don't end up remembering them it is the intention that matters.

Its a beautiful day,don't let it get away....

U2

The Insignificant Indian

2008-11-28T04:31:00.000-08:00

All of us have had to endure the torture and share the pain of our brothers and sisters in Mumbai who have been victimized by dastardly acts of cowardice.Reports of inhuman acts of terror have become rhetoric on Indian news channels to the point where some of us have become numb.But this act dubbed as a 'War on Mumbai' which lasted almost 60 hours reminded me of how insignificant we are in this country.

The fundamental democratic principle is to ensure that the opinion of every individual matters.Here we are at the face of one of the worst attacks on our country and its people,frustrated with the government and security agencies because of their incapability,angered by the sight of innocent people who have died for no reason,moved by the pictures of aggrieved family members.But what difference is it going to make?

Every incident of this nature has an expiry date in our memory depending on where people were killed , how many people were killed and most importantly Who was killed.As many as 18,350 civilians died during the past nine years in 61,226 incidents of violence in Jammu and Kashmir, north-east, naxal-affected States and communal flare-ups.Very few of which we have actually read about or bothered about.Even if we do read about it and flinch what do we do next? Turn to the sports page.It takes us close to 200 deaths in the financial capital and the worst hostage crisis in Indian history till date to sit up and take notice.I wonder if an attack of this nature in a small town claiming the same number of lives have the same effect on us.We probably would have dismissed it.The life of every Indian has a price tag that we have put on it by of his status in the society. The life of a labourer who struggles to make ends meet is as valuable as that of High-flying executive who dines at the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel. The first step in fighting terror is to appreciate this.

The very essence of a meaningful existence is to make a difference to the lives of the people around you.We have resorted to the fact that in our country we cant.And us resorting to such a conclusion is the defeat of purpose.

It is an insult, not only to the Government of India but to each and every Indian that someone has (once again) ridiculed us and reminded us that we are insignificant.A bunch of brutes have suggested that the tears shed and the lives lost will not transpire into anything .

Perhaps this is not the first piece of text you have read condemning terrorism and raising questions.It will defintely not be the last. So what do you plan to do?

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind....Apparently

2008-08-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I love 'Psycho killer' based movies! Movies which explore the minds of such people appeal to me because their creation involves a lot of thinking. I am fascinated by such portrayals.Simply because,it puzzles me as to how people end up that way. The fact that such movies dissect the psychology (the good ones) of such people makes them very interesting . The catch being that the person doesn't exist ( in most cases) and the director has to sketch the character's nature , the stimulus for his actions and a behavioral pattern.That is a LOT of creativity.

And the best that i have seen is AMERICAN PSYCHO. It has Chrisitan Bale (Batman) playing the role of Patrick Bateman , a Vice President in a large company. Patrick assaults women brutally, sometimes eats them and occasionally skins them and hang their corpses in his wardrobe.He goes around the city killing poor people on the streets because they are unsuccessful and are not like him,people who use oppurtunites to make things happen for themselves.Clearly he has an obsessive-compulsive disorder.That all men have to be succesful . He believes that people who aren't successful are inferior and deserve no place in the society.Also he says '..I believe in taking care of myself ' and goes on to explain his meticulously planned schedule for ensuring that his body is perfect.A narcissist . He watches disturbing videos all day and it fuels his hate for people.Women initially fall prey for his money and looks , eventually to his wrath.Even the slightest disrespect will drive the animal into murder.His anger knows no bounds.He is disturbed and angered by the fact that the world isn't perfect. Not all of us are 'successful' and 'beautiful' by Patrick's definition.The pain he goes through seeing the world as it is from his perspective drives him into doing the things he does. And being rich and powerful he gets away.

Why i like the movie? It is complete and coherent and is not one of those movies which has blood pouring all around for no apparent reason.

And i suggest you Don't Watch it.

Why?

I recently suggested to a very good friend that she watch the movie and tell me if she liked it and that i found it very interesting. Half-way through the movie she called me up and yelled at me for being a 'sick' SOB!!! She felt that the movie was obscene,explicit and filled with violence and could not stand the fact that i like it.She said that if i continue watching such movies,eventually there'll be a movie on me! The hope is that she reads this and changes her opinion about both the American and the Indian psycho.

We saw the same movie, but we didn't.

Dasavataram..After Watching the movie..

2008-06-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

About the Tickets :

My dad's workplace has a recreation club which books tickets in large numbers for movies which generate a lot of interest. And so,they booked tickets and my dad bought the tickets for us. The tickets were for seating in the balcony of the Woodlands theater.

About the Theater :

The last time my parents were in the Woodlands theater was about seven years back. They are unable to recollect the name of the movie they watched. In fact i went along with them and i can't remember either. Anyways, we had no idea about what was in store for us.

The ambience was awful. Dirty toilets, chaos with people pushing to get inside,a car park where you have to wait for 10 others to move theirs before you can move yours, seats that were rock-hard, an AC system which didn't work and a cinema hall filled with waste bottles and wrappers.It was nightmarish and my dad felt bad that he got us into it. Filled with irritation and disgust we kept looking at the screen as we didn't want to face each other.

P.S-DON'T EVER GO TO 'WOODLANDS ' FOR WATCHING A MOVIE! DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK!

About the movie :

I have made it clear in my previous post that i am not expecting a great deal from the movie which ,possibly, could be the reason why i found it interesting! The best part is that i found that the movie had taken my attention off the theater.That itself is a huge success.

The opening 10-15 minutes were unbelievable.I am not a fan of Devi Sri Prasad but i think his background score for the 12th century period was mind blowing.Being a staunch devotee of Lord Vishnu myself i was able to feel the emotion being conveyed.It was remarkable.

From there on it is the usual stuff.Commercial cinema at its best.The movie has an incredible pace to it in certain portions and is extremely sluggish in certain others.The manner in which the charachters are introduced and the roles they play as a part of the larger picture which unfolds is the work of a genius . The make-up was hyped but there were only two roles that stood out.The old lady and the Japanese teacher.The rest of them were mediocre. I will definitely have to agree with people calling it Kamal's magnum opus.More than his acting ability, the screenplay and storyline is what needs to lauded.The way the charachters were weaved into the story is terrific.Given that it is a commercial movie,we have to make our peace with certain illogicalities but from a bird's eye view everything seems coherent. And the song 'Mukunda' , has been beautifully picturized. It definitely deserves a special mention.You might have noticed that nobody mentions Mallika ,Asin or any other actor. They are merely props.

My Verdict..

From the perspective of a commercial movie lover (My mother) the movie is very entertaining and makes for an ideal evening with a bag of pop-corn.No doubt the movie is at the top of the food chain.

But for someone who is yearning for a change from the normal singing,dancing around trees, sentiments ,'Punch dialogues' illogical stories and invincible protagonists to a breath of fresh air with films that evoke concern on social issues , political issues or atleast a movie with a solid storyline where the director's prowess is the highlight , like in a play, in Tamil Cinema (Indian Cinema in general) the movie is a huge let down.Purely because Kamal Hassan is the only man who can make it happen.He has crossed the point where he has to do movies like Dasavataram to prove his brilliance.He should be looking at promoting meaningful cinema in our country and be more responsible.He must be looking at Cinema as a tool for providing people information about the world around them and promote awareness on issues that are plaguing our country.Considering the sort of interest his movies generate he can definitely make a difference.My rating ..

5/10

Dasavataram-Before watching the movie

2008-06-13T03:38:00.000-07:00

It is all about hype isn't it? You can make people believe in something which is completely non-existent and gain mileage out of it.Right from rumors about the stock market crashing to 'God-Men' having mystical powers.

So where was I? Dasavataram .A movie in which there's one guy who puts on make-up and plays ten roles in an attempt to convince the audience that they're different people .And the reason to do so? Nobody has done it before. Perhaps he should consider having a sex-change operation and play both the heroine and the hero.Why?Because no one has done it before!! Give me a break people! I like the guy , huge Kamal Hassan fan by the way, but the fact that the movie is just a showcase of his talent as an actor i am pretty much sure the storyline will take a beating.In all likelihood its going to be a commercial entertainer and with a LOT of Kamal. The last time i had people around me buzzing with excitement about a movie was when 'SIVAJI -The Boss' .And frankly it wasn't all that great. This machine is running on a fuel called HYPE and guess what they'll run out of it once the movie releases.

And to demonstrate to people how all of us get fooled in our daily lives , i am writing this blog in all honesty to reflecting my feelings before watching the movie and this is my prediction.In a few days i'll be telling the world how the movie actually turned out to be! Whether i was right or it was worth the hype !!

What was he thinking machi..

2008-06-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

A few days back i went to the theaters for watching the latest Indiana Jones flick and MAN was it boring! I mean the script is a cross between a Telugu movie and a Tamil movie.It would've grossed much more the world over had it been a Rajni movie . This movie could've made for an excellent advertisement for promoting Rights for senior citizens!The average age of the cast would be in the mid 50s.Since it is a period movie of sorts the director has actually made a movie for the audiences of the 1940s.What was he thinking machi! Pure unadulterated crap!I can sit through 20 hours of History lectures on ancient civilizations and still those 2 hours will seem hard for me to get through.

Overall its a tribute to all the things that make you want to kill yourself

Campus Blues...

2008-06-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

My campus recruitments started on June 2 and i got myself a job.The company recruited 246 SSNites and i was one among them. A proud moment indeed. But this blog is not an expression of my joy.It is of agony. Agony that some of my deserving friends were unfortunate not to get a job. Students with high scores who worked hard throughout their college lives were left in the docks by the recruiters.These things are particularly cruel for those students wh0 haven't faced any sort of rejection or failure in their entire lives.And this failure is hard to cope with because, for some, campus placement is the objective behind their admission into Engineering education.

Although it's true that some of them do not possess the skills that these companies look for in an employee it is hard for me to digest the fact that my FRIENDS are going through this tough phase.I have had my share of failures and i can empathise with these people.I also have my own doubts on whether some of them will be able to take it.These are testing times and i pray that my friends do well for themselves..

Wrong timing machi

2008-05-16T07:04:00.000-07:00

Recently i learnt my lesson on how important it is to get opportunities at the right time.My college announced an internship program for the Final year students, who are the most stressed out lot in college , with the worries about a future lying ahead of them. Also they have to cope with the fact that a few interviews could be make or break for them.The much hyped aptitude tests of Software firms is something students are freaked-out about because they have spent the last 3 years of their lives enjoying college life.Right now our profiles have nothing that set us apart from the crowd.Most of us don't even have a project to mention on our resumes.Althoug ,if expertise in Poker and Rummy count perhaps , we stand a terrific chance! After wasting all the time we had during the first 3 years our college is coming up with an Internship programme with impossible conditions to meet.It requires us to take a bus to college for 21 days on the trot during our summer holidays and work for like the whole day when we have those tests to prepare for.Had the management been smart they'd have arranged for this when we were in our second year or so.Now we're left with a blank resume and bitterness of having to let go of the opportunity.Its all about timing machi

Am Back

2008-05-15T05:22:00.000-07:00

After a long lay-off i've decided to start blogging again because i cant take the sheer torture of having to do nothing during my summer vacations. My friends tell me they're 'finally going to get some time-off'. I wonder what we did during the semester that has got them tired.Anyways lets get back to the subject of this blog ,which is NOTHING!

Actually there's are a lot of things going on in my life. Important decisions ,crucial interviews and the last year of college lies ahead of me.But its best that i take it as it comes.

I've started reading the ET and becoming familiar with businees jargon.Money is something that really fascinates me now.It directly affects everything around you.If you think about it you cant 'make' anything in today's world.You can only BUY it.

One disappointment is that off-late i have'nt found any band that fascinates me.Not even a good movie release.My only hobby of collecting movies has taken a beating. I havent added a movie to it in months.

My desktop crashed a few days back meaning that my wife is sick.Hate life without her.And as always i have taken my holiday vow of having to use them productively and this time i really see that happening i really do. Will update regularly from now on

T(amasha)-20!!!!!!

2007-09-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

When the number of people who made their way into the stadia in the UK for watching BORING county Cricket drastically reduced and the ECB saw a threat to their investments in the game. And so, in 2003 was born 20-20.A form of Cricket where a spectator would turn up at Half past Seven in the night and leave by Ten .What does he get? TNA..Total Non-stop Action! Big Sixes ,Tumbling Wickets, Electrifying Fielding!Twenty-20 in short is the essence of one-day cricket in a new bottle.The rules , some say, are for the batsmen and are harsh on the bowlers.But i'd say its for the SPECTATORS.

The group matches of the T-20 World Cup have proved many wrong.Teams going in with fast bowlers have been massacred while those with slow bowlers have been successful thus disproving the popular school of thought.And lets face it, 'minnow' teams have a real chance to defeat the established sides because of the game's nature.So it is a good thing that has happened to the game. Soon the racy instinctive kids with fast lives in the US and Europe will take to the game because its short and exciting .But the puritan in me just cant come to terms with the fact that the classic battle between a fast bowler with the cherry in his hand and the opener with the willow is fast dying out and soon might be a lost scene on the Cricket pitch.Test match cricket will suffer as more and more players begin to specialize in this form of the game. Mediocre fitness levels would suffice and 3 hours of cricket would pay lakhs!No longer should a cricketer have to work under the sun for 5 days in hard fought test matches.

Hit out Or Get out!!

Burgeoning Happiness..

2007-08-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

My parents celebrated their Wedding Anniversary on the 29th of August and since this year is their 25th together as a couple in matrimony my brother and i threw a Party. It trully was a wonderful feeling. For long i believed that social occasions were a total waste of time and were meaningless.I couldn't perceive how such occasions brought happiness . I was wondering how a mere congregation of the human species who are wound by 'social ties' which i believe are meaningless is going to make people Happy.And interestingly, atleast for me, i was proved wrong!!
My mother in her finest jewellery was the center of attention.And my father was at his casual best wearing a short-kurta and a jean.Both of them shone like candles in the dark!! The happiness was visibly overflowing.A feeling which i still don't know. The feeling of having your invitation acknowledged by so many people.I've always thought it was no big deal but i guess it is.The happiness that pervaded our house that evening is beyond the realms of my vocabulary and i am sure that of most.

Social situations aint that useless actually...

You Think You Know Me ..But You Have No Idea

2007-08-25T02:37:00.000-07:00

I often wonder how it would be if i could read minds. Or atleast make clear-cut judgments on how a particular person would react to a give situation.But its wierd how a person you know so well and you are so close to can turn out to be a completely different person!
You feel attached and begin to think your opinions can never differ.That you think alike and can take that person for granted.But BOOOOM there's a situation.Something unexpected happens. The person who you KNOW so well differs in something. You put yourself in his shoes and try making a decision.But you simply can't think otherwise.And all of a sudden you don't know that person at all.You cant take them for granted.Back to Square One.

No relationship can be smooth. It can be made smooth but it isn't by nature.

Ideality is merely a concept.A figment of imagination.It is a fantasy.

NO TWO EVENTS CAN TAKE PLACE AT THE SAME INSTANT OF TIME

NO TWO ELEMENTS HAVE THE SAME SYMBOL

NO TWO ZEBRAS HAVE IDENTICAL STRIPES

NO TWO PEOPLE ARE THE SAME . . . .